Applying To College As A First-Generation Student

Written by Cristina Colón

I mainly remember the stress of it all. I can’t tell you how I got through it or everything I filled out during that time, but I remember crying at night. I remember holding back tears while sitting next to my mom as she tried her best to help me fill out whatever form we had to send to my new school. When the time came to apply to colleges, I knew I was on my own. My parents wouldn’t be able to look over my Common App or proof read it. They don’t speak English and I had decided I wanted to leave Puerto Rico and go to college in the states.

The hardest forms to fill out were the ones for financial aid, which happen to be the most important for a good portion of first-generation students like me. I felt scared that I was somehow not filling out the correct information. Financial aid was the only way I was making it to college and if I didn’t fill these forms out correctly I couldn’t go to school. I know I’m not alone in this experience, but at the time, I felt like the process would never end. Imagine a barely 18 year-old trying to figure out tax returns, annual gross income and all the bullshit that we have to show to prove we can’t afford to pay for our education.

You know how at the end of these forms there’s almost always a portion for additional comments? For one of them, a particularly inaccessible one with language I could barely understand, my mom and I had been going back and forth, in the brink of fighting over our frustration. I’ll never forget how when we got to this particular section, she said: “Just write that we tried our best to fill everything out correctly. Tell them I don’t speak English, but that we tried.”

I don’t remember exactly what I wrote down, but I made sure her message got across. I wonder if whoever read our note felt our pain.

I know that during the process you’ve felt angry at your parents/guardians for not being able to help you. Trust me, they are probably already beating themselves up because they wish they could help more. It’s not their fault. It’s not your fault. I don’t know who’s fault it is, probably the Man’s fault. Trust me when I say the process will end and you’ll end up stronger for it. Our parents try their best and that will be good enough in the end.